Short 2 long...and back

I've colored, relaxed, shaved, and braided my hair...I wanted to experience a weave and get a true feel of whether or not I can handle long hair, or want to for that matter. I thought it about for a good 4 months before I took the plunge and made the appointment.

On May 10th I went to get my first weave with Fashion @ NYC Weave Studio. I did enough research that I knew what to expect in terms of caring for the hair, and washing and moisturizing. I spent months drooling over pictures on Instagram. I purchased the hair from NYC Weave Studio...

Two bundles of deep wavy hair, 16" and 18" and a closure with a side part.

Totally SEXY.

Totally HOT.

Yet right off the bat I wasn't thrilled with the closure and the color of the hair on the closure. The lace cap wasn't bleached so the hair knots were visible, making it look like there were black dots. No fault of the Fashion. The color of the was a mix of off black with reddish brown on top, right at the crown.

The closure wasn't made custom- my fault.

Annnnnd that unnerved me.

I can be a perfectionist about the most absurd things.

I could have done things to make it look more realistic but I wasn't comfortable doing that.

The 16" and 18" length

was nice but screamed fake IMHO. Of course any hair past my ear is going to feel fake to me. I wasn't really thinking about that, lol.

I felt that shorter the hair would have more body, give it the illusion of semi real hair.

So my sister suggested I go to her stylist and have it cut and layered.

The cut it's self I LOVED. I felt more comfortable...but fuck damn the closure piece annoyed me. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror I focused on the closure piece.

I felt that's what people were staring at when they looked at me.

Totally paranoid...I know...but it's my head my mind and I wasn't getting around it.

Besides the closure piece I could not get the hair to hold a freaking curl. I didn't like the hair when it lost it's curl and had little body.

Now in all fairness the past 3 weeks in NYC/NJ has been filled with crappy rainy, windy weather.

I didn't want to admit that I was unhappy. But at the amount I paid I should freaking LOVE IT. No one would understand that while I liked the hair...I wasn't completely in love.

Comfort is a BIG deal with me and without having a therapy session within a blog post I simply wasn't comfortable with it.

Taking the weave out was impulsive to the point that I didn't know I was going to wash my hair, spend an hour drying my cornrows and then look in the mirror and want the damn thing out.

Good grief I did NOT expect that to happen. Yet once I got started the level of comfort I had been missing quickly returned.

Oh how I missed seeing my scalp and my curls, lol.

I don't regret getting the weave...not at all. I wasn't going to know whether I loved it or hated it until I did it. I *might* get another one ONE day, but I would definitely get kinky textured hair since I plan on keeping my hair natural. Other than the closure I liked the hair...but I didn't love it. It was too silky for my taste...Growing up all I wanted was smooth, silky my hair and FINALLY I had some silky hair and I hated it.

I did love and kinda of miss the styling options.

As my hair grows I am still obsessed with finding that "perfect" protective style. I'm aiming for at chin length as my first ultimate hair growth goal.

Another year of on and off protective styles and I will get there (fingers crossed).

Right now I have my hair pulled back in a tight teeny weeny ponytail (first ponytail in 15 years) and some kanekalon wrapped around as a bun. Depending on the weather I might keep this for the week...or not...After having a shaved head for 14 years I think I am allowed to switch things up whenever I want...

*Shoutout to Fashion, at NYC Weave Studio...regardless of my final thoughts this woman did a great job (out in two hours) and I highly recommend her if you are looking to get a weave and live in the NYC/NJ area*

Wanna know what I do next?

Stay tuned to find out ;-)

Until Next Time,

xo

 

Lust

 

LUST: a passionate or overmastering desire or craving

As I think about HIM I'm trying to recall when my innocent, school girl crush turned into the all consuming lust that I feel today.

What was the situation? What were the words spoken that flipped the switch and brightened this emotion to my mind?

When I look at HIM I still have remnants of the days of crushing.

My inability to stand still in HIS presence.

The way I would fumble my words in rapid succession like my beating pulse.

How I trained my ear to listen to his ninja silent footsteps.

HIM...with his subtle glances and nonchalant demeanor put an extra edge on that ledge of my emotions.

There is a lust for him that I can't nor want to contain.

 

Diluted- Shana Elmsford

I am a child of the 80's. As such I grew up watching some pretty cool cartoons...Josie and the Pussycats, Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, Smurfs. One of my all time favorites was Jem and the Holograms. I LOVED me some Jem with her hair and bright colors, and cool group of friends, her bandmates...Jem was a rockstar, an alter-ego of Jerrica Benton.

I even owned a



(I was never able to find all of them...especially Shana)

When I heard talks of a live version being made I was all smiles.

On Friday, the 25th the cast was announced. I quickly posted the link to an article on my FB feed and went about my day. It was a busy day. On Saturday I woke up to further investigate...i.e. I click on my own link and I read the article.

I couldn't wait to see who was chosen.



Everything is...looking...ok...wait!!!!

HOLD UP!!!

Why is the actress cast as Shana (the dark skin, purple afro wearing Hologram on the far right) about four shades  lighter than my cartoon version?

I know there are talented brown skin (cocoa, chocolate, hazelnut) actress that can sing.

Why wasn't one of them chosen? If not for talent for keeping honest to the damn cartoon.

Growing up Shana was one of the few ( I think of 3) characters that looked like me :-)

I have nothing against Aurora Perrineau. I can't I know nothing about her. Apparently she had a role on Pretty Little Liars ( I love and watch) but I don't remember her.

Her father is Harold Perrineau. Now him I know...him I love...He played Augustus Hill in Oz and Damon Pope in Sons of Anarchy.

Good acting runs in the family but my beef isn't about acting.

I'm pissed and so are some other people that here was a perfect opportunity to show true diversity while staying true to the original character.

My first thought when I saw her was "Is she mixed?" then I said "REALLY? You gonna do Shana like that!!!"

Integrity Toys got the memo that Shana is of the darker complexion.



The director, Jon M. Chu held an open casting call (social media at it's best)

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yzVnNVrunAE]

Not one of entries had a hopeful wonder that looked like Shana?

The director was wants to "reinvent" Jem for a current audience?

Current audience devoid of color? When the past audience did just fine with it?

I don't buy that Aurora Perineau was the BEST choice.

I do buy that Aurora Perineau is the Hollywood standard of the easiest and safest way to say "we have a diverse cast".

While she may be half white (her mother) and half black most of the world sees her as Black.

That's all we need.

But it isn't because that isn't all there is.

Our First Daughters of the White House



are beautiful shades of brown.

Lupita Nyong'o



named People magazines Most Beautiful Person of 2014 (days before the cast was revealed) is gorgeous shade of chocolate.

Hollywood needs to let go of it's "safety net" and take the rose tinted glasses off.

What I see in that cast line up is NOT diversity. I see a group of young, beautiful women who kinda look the same, save for eye and hair colors...

I don't even think their hair textures are different!

Brown and dark skin women deserve to be represented in films and TV shows because we exist. Not enough is being done to show that.

We don't deserve a diluted version of us.

This casting choice is a diluted version.

People are going to say "It isn't that serious. It's just a movie...The girl is BLACK."

To quote a friend that posted a comment on my FB page regarding the link to the cast article, she said "Where is the Black girl?"

Sometimes what is seen on the surface is what matters.

~Until Next Time~

xo

 

 

My side chick...

My side chick can be a bitch sometimes.

She can be unruly, tight, hard to work with...a hot mess if she isn't given attention.

She can also be soft, playful, rewarding...a trooper...My side chick will have my back no matter what I put her through.

That surprises me. Especially since before the middle of 2013 we hadn't been spending much time together...for a looooooog time.

The one day I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror and said...

I miss her

Technically I am premature in talking about this...it hasn't been a full year yet...but it will be in June...

It has been a year that I have been with my side chick.

YIKES!!!!!

 

In May my side chick is going away for a bit.  But she will still be around. She's kinda going be replaced by my fling chick.

You know, the kind you see a few times a year. You got mad love for her...but by 1, 2, maybe 3 months you're done and want something new.

You miss that side chick cause you know one day she will replace the former main chick.

You gonna wake up one day and BAM...she will literally be all over the place...taking up space in your bed, in your bathroom, demanding WAY more time than she did when she was a side chick.

For a hot minute you might even think about going back to NO chicks...It's crossed my mind.

But I made a commitment to my side chick when I left my main chick.

I was going to do right by her, treat her right...and she was going to do me right.

She...MY HAIR...wasn't going to allow me any regret on this hair growth journey that I am on.

We are on the slow and steady road with much progress.

*Below are pics of me with my



"main chick"- my shaved head. Been with her for 13 years. Saying goodbye wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

"side chick"- my hair slowly growing out. I like this one...I better because I know she is going to be around for a long time (my goal is chin length)

"fling chick"- the braids (protective styles) that I had for a month or two. She holds my attention for a while but I always miss my side chick.

This last pic is from last week

 



This is how my hair will remain till I get my new fling chick.

In order to maintain healthy hair not just growing hair I think of the process as a relationship.

I have to give my hair attention and patience. Listen to its needs while being mindful of my own.  Styling is time consuming and the results are worth it.

Think I'm crazy?

Embarking on your own hair care journey and let me know how you feel about "the other chick" spouting from your head.

~Until next time~

xo

Outlets

My 9-5 job is pretty draining...mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Even on days when I don't react to the office BS I find myself needing to vent...needing a outlet to release the stress giving half a shit can create.

Yeah I could stop caring. I've taken great pains to work on that...slowly...

Anywho...I was thinking yesterday that I don't have a viable outlet. Everyone needs a viable, tangible outlet that will help them relieve stress. Something that I can look forward to and plan.

Some people go to the gym after a stressful day.

I told my co worker I wanted to go to a gun range...totally viable way to blow off steam.

Going on vacation (after not having been on one in hmmmm 8 years) is another way.

Escaping in the great city of my birth NYC and exploring the museums and checking out galleries is another way that I can disconnect and be transported away from whatever reminders of my 9-5 follow me after 5p.

So take a class on their favorite hobbies.

In the past I thought of my writing as my hobby. Not only have I not made time to write...the whole drained when I get home thing is a big blow to my passion...I can't consider my would be career a hobby. There isn't much focus in that, at least for me.

What are some of your outlets? Ways that you vent when life is mean mugging you?

PSA, I don't hate my job...I heavily dislike my job...because it is my job NOT my career. I am aware that some of my need for a outlet comes from having a job vs. a fulfilling career...

I'm working on that...slowly...

~Until next time~

xo

Travel the rhythm

I'm quite envious of those that have gifted tongues and can speak more than one language. And I don't just mean speak as in get by...I mean speak, read, write...fully comprehending a language that is not your native tongue. I know if I really wanted to I can learn another language despite what my memories are of  10th grade Spanish.

My desires to learn aren't about function as much as form. Although when it comes to travel being multi-lingual would heighten the experience, true.

Compared to English every other language sounds beautiful, interesting, passionate, fun...lyrical...musical.

My first touch of music in another language isn't truly another language more a dialect. My dad is from Trinidad and my mother's family is Guyanese and Portuguese. I grow up listening to my fair share of soca, calypso music.

Sample of soca

Sample of calypso

At an young age I couldn't (still can't understand sometimes) much of what is said because of the heavy accents. But the sounds...AHHH the rhythms that infect you, get you on your feet. The basis for my love of music...period.

My first stop of this musical world tour is the Middle East. I became interested in Arabic music when I saw a makeup tutorial on a famous Arabic singer, Nancy Ajram



I think she is f'ing beautiful.  Interest piqued I did a Goggle search...I was mesmerized by her voice. One of my favorites is

Ya Salam

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Az1zgq1rF28]

There is something so beautiful about the Arabic language that I find sensual.

Alabina is a French based group that performs a mix of world music- ranging from Middle Eastern, Arabic, Hebrew, French and Spanish Gypsy.  If you like many different types of music I think you will like them.

My favorite song by is Yalla Bina Yalla.

http://youtu.be/mDhmKrW4F6Y

I found the group because the song was feature in the movie I Can't Think Straight

When I first listened I was jamming because of the Arabic sounds, then came the Spanish Gypsy influence and was HOOKED.

I have the anime Vampire Knight to thank for introducing me to the world of Japanense artists.

Kanon Wakeshima sang the ending credit song, Still Doll.

But it is her song, Suna no Oshiro, that I find utterly beautiful and haunting.

http://youtu.be/aFLM1NEkxf8

Kanon is a cellist and her cello is always a main component in her songs.

My next musical port is France. I found Coeur de Pirate's, La Petite Mort, in episode 10, season 1 of Orphan Black (HIGHLY recommend the show)

http://youtu.be/qDturpwxal0

From Coeur de Pirate I found Amel Bent and her song, Ma Philosophie

http://youtu.be/D38EUIll1pM

From Amel Bent I came across Amine's, Origines

[spotify id="spotify:track:19IFXhqrf6xOmSKVbvd4cv" width="300" height="380" /]

Shout out to Spotify and Pandora for helping me travel the world via music.

Until Next Time,

xo

2013...in review

My favorite pastime this year hands down was browsing Pinterest. The site is like a black hole, Bermuda Triangle. My form of heaven during a boring slow work day.  So what better way to do a recap of the year than using what I found so damn interesting throughout it...



In the beginning of the year I began doing more Accounting work at my job. Something I would haven't given a thought...ever...but turns out I kind of like it and plan to take a basic bookkeeping class in the Spring ...Perhaps this is my true calling...NOT ;-)





My work crush...one day he will have his own post, titled "I said YES"...it works on so many levels.



Spring found me reconnecting with an old childhood friend. Despite being apart for uh since 6th grade we act like no time has passed at all.



Most if not many conversations were about...



and 

While I wanted to be all 



S was like...



So as Summer started my thought process was...



and thanks to finding a really cool bar and making some cool friends I had thoughts of

  and 


During this time I decided that I would embark on a "hair growth journey". 

Me then



Me now...



Good times were approaching because Fall brought New York ComicCon. My first time ever!!! My 



and I had a blast.

Then came the best month of the whole year, November. I was all



because on the 18th it was.

But I was also a little melancholy because I kept asking S  

Me during the cooler/colder months 



2013 had me saying goodbye to people I never thought I would let go of

  

I cried and then I said

 

The year wasn't always filled with roses. I had my share of thorns. We won't think about those because



Check out my Pinterest boards here when you want to lose a few hours.



Until next time, xo