Lil' Ole Diabeetus

When I first saw this picture on FB I couldn't stop laughing. The parody of the Lil' Debbie snacks stems from this commercial with Wilford Brimley and his Southern pronunciation of DIABETES... Little Debbie kinda looks like Wilford... Maybe only people with DIABEETUS get the joke.

I'm a diabetic. I was diagnosed at 16. At the time I was categorized as a :

Type II- Diet Controlled Diabetic.

Meaning if I was careful and controlled my diet I could control the disease.

I tried for a while but I was a teenager...I didn't want to do all the things that you have to do to manage diabetes.

Now I am a Type II- Insulin Dependent Diabetic.

I am 36 years old.

At 22 I wasn't surprised when my dr. told me I would have to start taking oral medication.

This time I got serious. My mom passed away months before due to complications of her diabetes. I didn't want that to happen to me.

I went to the my dr appointments. I checked and recorded my blood sugar levels.  I tried to watch what I ate.  Added walking to my daily routine. I lost the 50 pounds that I had gained after my mom died. Within a year I was doing really well.

Years passed...5 to be exact and I can say proudly that I was at the best state of managing the disease that I have ever been in.

Then I quit my job. It was unplanned so when I couldn't afford my COBRA payments I lost my health insurance.

Roughly the two years after that point is when damage was done to my body.

With no health insurance I wasn't taking my medication. Once I got back on my feet and had health insurance I went straight to the dr.

Oral meds weren't cutting it anymore. My pancreas was slowly burning itself out trying to make insulin for my body. As a teen my insulin needed some guidance.  As an adult my by needed insulin point blank.

I think many Type 2 diabetics will agree that the day you are told you have to go on insulin is kind of like being seen as a failure. Especially if you were trying your hardest to manage this disease.

Diabteeus is a shifty, silent disease.

Looking at the glass half full I am lucky that the damage done is the fact that my pancreas is slowly reaching "E" rather than having my kidney fail (like my mom), or trouble with my eyes, or poor circulation resulting in losing a limb.

Watching what I eat was never fun.  Yet I do it. Having to breakdown everything I eat  so

 



 

I can take the correct dose of insulin is hard.

Whipping out this



gets sooooo tedious.

Visiting my Endo either every 3 or 6 months to check my A1C levels. Going to the ophthalmologist to have my eyes dilated to check for nerve damage is annoying.

Being reminded that I lost my mom (far too soon) to this disease happens often.

All of the steps that I do, taking my oral meds, taking my short acting and long acting insulin, carrying hard candy in my purse for when my sugar is too low, reading  food labels and listening to my body, exercising when I wan can keeps me in control.

As long as I remain in control Lil' Ole Diabteeus will have a hard time taking control over me.

Until next time,

xo

 

Maybe a twin...

I'm sitting at my desk. Work is kind of slow. I'm taking advantage of the downtime. I'm watching YouTube video, catching up on reading blogs, texting friends...As I'm reading this blog post on The Everything Girl, staring at the pretty pictures of Lauren's apartment it hit me.

Maybe a twin.

Maybe I should get a twin...a twin bed that is.

I live in a tiny studio. I have no clue what the square footage is but I know it's tiny. As much as I want to move it really isn't feasible right now. But I am tired (so tired) of coming home to my bland apartment. I've lived there for 5 years refusing to decorate or add any type of personal touch because I told myself I wasn't staying long.

I've been there long enough. I need to make an attempt.

Right now my apartment is a bed...and a Rubbermaid drawer, and some end tables...Not fancy, but functional. Being that the studio is small I always had the mindset of not wanting to stuff it with furniture. But if I get size appropriate furniture, I can make it cute...

This is where the twin bed comes in. I have a full size bed now. If I get a twin I'll have room for a chair/loveseat. If someone came over the only place to sit is on my bed. Watching TV in bed is nice when I want to lay down. Who wants to lay down all the time?

At the moment I am single...I'm not dating. For however long I stay in my current apartment I may starting seeing someone.

Nights on a twin bed aren't hot...or comfortable.  And I don't care, lol. I want a new bed. I want room for a chair.

I could get a daybed. Although in my opinion they aren't that comfortable to sleep in.

The layout of my apartment is like this



In my mind if I put all that furniture in my place I would feel cramped. I hate feeling cramped.

A simple bed, chair, maybe a movable kitchen island and that's it.

Because...I'm not going to be staying here for long ;-)

Until next time

Protective Style #6...Crochet MICROBRAIDS

After my first attempt at crochet braids I knew I wanted them again but I wasn't excited about using the most popular brand Freetress because it is all curly styles. I didn't want curly hair. What I wanted was an easy-no-fuss-protective style. In the past that meant getting braids.

I love microbraids but I don't love the 12+ hours it can take. Nor do I love how microbraids can be damaging to hair if not careful.

That's where this beauty comes in



Pre-braided Microbraids. I found the packs at my local BSS for $2 a pack. I picked up 6 in color 1B.

I went to Harlem to have my hair cornrowed.



The ends of the braids are sewed up (couldn't get a good picture of the back)

Simple braid pattern of going all back. My hair is fine so the braider used kanekalon hair to make the braids firm. Braiding across in the back would have been ideal so they could lie flat, but I think I can fix that with adding a row at the very bottom of kanekalon hair.

To help prevent the braids from unraveling too soon I put a tiny drop of Krazy Glue on the ends.



(waiting for the glue to dry, takes a few seconds to a minute)



This install took me about 4 hours because I kept taking breaks.



 

The braids are about 22" in length so they hit the top of my butt. Cutting them really wasn't an option because of the extra work to prevent unraveling, also I didn't want them short. Straight and short...ehhh.

The braids aren't as heavy as if I really had my hair braided.

Removal is super duper easy and because I glued the ends I can reuse (woohoo)

I feel like I should be on a beach, with a drink in my hand and a bikini on my body with braids this long. They should be blowing in a tropical breeze.

Until next time,

xo

 

Thrifty Tuesday

In an effort to do more blogging I'm trying to come up with themes that I know I can build post from.

Thrifty Tuesday are going to be post on items (makeup, skincare, clothing, food, gadgets and maybe even some toys) I that love that won't deflate your wallet.

Today we are talking about makeup (one of my first loves), specifically powder foundation.

I had been on the hunt for a new powder foundation once I realized I wasn't in love with my Sephora Collection MircoSmooth Baked Foundation Face Powder in the color #56Maghogany. First few times wearing the powder was fine but somehow it developed a hard film on top that for the life of me I could not scrap off.; making application a chore.

At $22 I don't feel I should have multiple steps that include a small knife to get product on my face. I told myself just go back to your one true love MAC StudioFix.  For maybe a decade all I wore was StudioFix. Liquid or cream foundations held no interest because StudioFix did it all.

Buuuuuut, I'm a product junkie. I will try the newest thing for no other reason than...it's a novelty item...

I didn't want to shell out $27 for my beloved StudioFix. I love it, and it would last forever...eh...money is tight for me and I had just wasted $22 at Sephora I'm saving to move, I want to go on vacation...I keep doing new protective styles ;-) I looked for a cheaper alternative.

NYX Stay Matte But Not Flat Powder Foundation in the color Tawny (SMP12) has the right price at $9.50. The powder is soft, provides great coverage yet at times will feel heavy. I have dry skin and I seem to get a nice glow once the powder settles.  Downside is I have already hit pan and it has only been maybe a month and a half. I purchase this at a local beauty supply store.

Another powder that love and often forget about is Ruby Kisses No More Blemish Powder in Toasted Almond. I don't use it for blemishes. I picked it up on a whim years ago. Since then whenever I go to the BSS I think fondly of how it worked well (no heavy transferring on clothing or paperwork- sometimes MAC and NYX do) At $4.99 I really have no complaints. Picking a color might be hard. In the case they can look the same. My BSS had testers but they looked the same there too. I picked based on what I saw through the little window in the compact.

Out of the two I'm happier with my $5 powder. I would go as far as to say to is up there with my StudioFix in terms of HOLY GRAIL status.

*Sorry for the lack of photos. I did this post of on the fly and didn't have a chance to gather any.*

Do you have any thrifty products that you love?

Until next time,

xo

Protective Style # 5- Crochet Braids

As my quest process of growing my hair out continues I decided to put in crochet braids for my 5th protective style.
If you go off of YouTube it looks simple enough.
For the most part it is...
Crochet braids are when your own hair is cornrowed and the extension is looped through the base with a crochet hook and then tied into a knot.
Simple, right?
While protective styles are great for keeping my hair...well...protected from the weather and daily manipulation they can be expensive. Braiders can charge up to $200 to install crochet braids. You can use synthetic or human hair.
Because synthetic is cheaper, last longer, and requires less maintenance I went with that.
I chose Freetress Brazilian Braid.

I wanted a curly/wavy pattern the likes of which my real hair is dreaming of being when it reaches my goal length ( chin length).
I wasn't ready to pay someone what YT swears can be done by yourself...but I don't know how to cornrow.
I went to my local beauty school and had cornrows put in for $40 bucks.
I bought 5 packs of hair for $6 each.
$80 for my style is a hell of a lot better than $200.
My hair is thick at the roots and then become fine :-(
Cornrows done on my hair don't fair well unless it is braided with extension hair.
Unfortunately the beauty school doesn't allow their students to braid with extensions.
That makes NO sense to me.
Anyway I was lucky to get a student that is not only a fantastic braider she also understands natural hair. She knew that in order to catch my hair and not cause breakage it would be best to braid while damp.
I had her braid going all the way straight back. I had to sew the ends together.
It was a BITCH trying to find good pictures of braid patterns online. I came across lots of "end results" but I needed a more detailed pic of a braid pattern.
It's like that's the golden secret to crochet braids and them looking good...it's all about the braid pattern.

So I got home Thursday night around 8p. I had taken Friday off. I was going to go in and go hard.
Chile...I consider my head to be small but fuck yeah I wasn't done till 2a. And that was ONLY because I ran out of hair.
I bought 3 packs of #2 ( a dark brown) and 2 of #27 ( a light honey).
I was going to mix the two and get me some highlights. But as I was putting in the brown I was happy with it...till I ran out and couldn't finish.
Smart thinking on taking Friday off. Because besides needing to finish the top part of my head the style was HUGE.
A common thing when installing, your end result WILL leave you looking like Mufasa.
Friday morning I went to the beauty supply store got one more #2 and some thinning shears.
I had to cut out some of the braids because thinning them with the shears kind of made the hair bigger, lol.
I'm saying this right now... I don't know shit about doing hair, lol.
No matter how many YT videos I watch.
I definitely need more practice.
Even with taking out almost half of what I put in it was still too puffy and Diana Ross ish for my taste.
I saw a YT video where a woman dipped her Brazilian crochet braids in hot water to calm down the mane.
I fucking hate YT for making people think they can do shit.
I did it and end up losing some of my curl pattern :-(
But not enough that I couldn't cut away. What I couldn't cut away blends in ok...I guess. I personally think the ends look horrible but we all know how critical I am of myself.
When installing I split some of the curls in two, causing frizz. But if I didn't do that I would end up with pieces that weren't staying knotted.
Most of the pieces look like they will come undone :-/. All I do is pull on them and they knot right back.
I think because my hair is so fine and still short the knots have nothing to hold on to. As I was pushing the the crochet hook through the braids would loosen.
All and all I'm happy with the outcome
and proud of myself for doing it.
I don't know how long I will keep this set in.
I do know I want them again and I will probably shell out the cash to have a professional do it.
*sigh*
This growing my hair out business is for the birds, lol
Have you ever had crochet braids? What were your experiences?
Unto next time
Xo

TMI: Mirena

*TMI... this is a graphic post about my experience on the IUD Mirena. If you don't want to read about cramps, blood, and the menstrual cycle you know what to do. If you are curious about one woman's experience on the birth control, Mirena keep reading.*

 

_______________________________________________________________

 

I debated about whether or not I wanted to write this post.  It is personal and private but maybe it will provide me with some insight or give someone else comfort.

This is literally my first month on the IUD, Mirena. How could I have enough time to offer an accurate account...but from day one I was miserable and I should share that.

The issue I have with my periods isn't an insane amount of blood flow. I have an insane amount of pain because of cramps and back pain. Even the back of my knees hurt when I have my period. I'm also one of those lucky women that get vertigo a few days to a week before my period. Birth control in general is supposed to help lessen some menstrual side effects.

Yes, cramps, heavy blood flow, and back pain are side effects of a menstrual cycle to me...Do I need all of that to let me know I have unused eggs?

Nope, I don't.

My sister is on Mirena and has had nothing but GLOWING, and I mean GLOWING reviews about this tiny little  T looking thing. I told her before I joined the Mirena club that she should be the spokesperson.

From her account the insertion of Mirena could have been difficult.

It was HELL. I don't know if it is the fact that I have a curved cervix (way TMI) or because I have never had children (so my cervix wasn't stretched) but I felt there were nails being imbedded into my uterus.  My doctor said things would get intense and I was all "whatever".

I was clutching the table, lifting my ass off, holding my breath, trying lie still just so it could be done and over with. It was maybe 5 minutes of sheer horror.

On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was a 12.

I was sent on my way and told that I would have some mild cramping.

When I got back to work (surely I didn't need to take a half day. It was a 1, 2, 3 type thing...pffft) a friend/co worker asked what was wrong with me. I looked exhausted.  I felt exhausted. I was in my dr.'s office for maybe 15 minutes...and I came out looking like I hadn't slept for days. I shuffled my feet towards the table in the break room and flopped down, doubling over...The cramps felt like they were intensifying.

The cramping lasted a good week.

I expected some cramping. I didn't except this dull, twisting pain to assault my body in the afternoons like clockwork.

I quickly got online as day two was progressing. I read that other women had experienced the same thing. By day 4 I posted a question on Facebook. I just knew this device with becoming embedded in my uterine walls.  Nope...everyone said what I was experiencing was normal.

My sister thought (still does) I was (am) crazy. Her experience with Mirena has been like my experience on the pill WONDERFUL.

Week 2 after insertion I am having some spotting. Thanks to my trusty period app I know my period is due in the next week or so...

Once I got that familiar feeling of I hate everyone, crying because I see a lone flower on a bush, and that need to eat everything,  I knew my period was coming.

Please keep in mind cramps are my issue not heavy-I-have-to-wear-a-pad-and-tampon bleeding.

My period started on May 26th. The blood flow was so light (lighter than the spotting after insertion) that I doubted this was my period. My sister said "No, this is it...Just wait."

Even though this conversation was via text, the tone of it was supposed to convince me that my period would come and go within 5 days like it usually does and I will barely notice.

NO!!!!

The 26th was on a Monday and I was at work, sitting at my desk when all of a sudden my stomach got a punch  a twist from within that was on par with food poisoning. I lost my ability to breath and lift my upper body upright. The gut wrenching pain lasted maybe 2 or 3 minutes. When it stopped I looked up and let out a deep exhale. I continued doing whatever I was doing when not 5 minutes later...

POW!!!!!! I got hit with another gut wrenching, twisting grip of pain.

I thought to myself "WTF". I sent a text to my sister who said she never had anything like that and I should just relax.

One thing about me...I know my body. I know when things are off. At 16 I was the first to diagnosis myself as I diabetic because I recognized the symptoms. I know when something is working with my body or against.

Mirena appears to be working against.

From what I read what I am going through is the norm...

Gut wrenching contraction like cramps is a normal experience. Add to that my normal back and back of the knee pain and I was in a foul mood.

So I can't even attest to any mood swings because I was in pain...who the fuck is going to be happy when every 5 minutes it feels like their uterus is being ripped out?

I popped some Aleve and waited a good hour. YES an hour for the pills to kick in. The Aleve made a dent in the pain but not all was gone.

I was so pissed that other women talked about how great this IUD was but for me I felt I was better when I didn't have it.

Now let's get into the nitty-gritty of things- like the cramps isn't enough-.

The blood flow that really isn't but kind of is; heavy.

Again I am going to say heavy blood flow was never a main issue.

My periods would start off heavy and decrease as the days passed.

When I was on the pill I would have heavy to medium to light flow but ZERO cramping the entire time.

For the past 10 days I have had a light to a medium flow. I can use a tampon for literally a 24 hour period. Super absorbency...Toxic Shock Syndrome notwithstanding...I have come pretty close to proving my blood flow isn't heavy.

Buuuuuuuuuut my blood flow is LONGER. 5 day periods have ALWAYS been my max. I am on day 8 and I am still bleeding, still having some cramping, and back and back of the knee pain.

The worst part is on the rare moments when I don't have the hellish cramps I'm thinking my period is over and I go pee...I look down and the toliet is filled with red water. Not even pink, I'm talking full red like I am on my first day.For the most part my super tampons have been super a pantyliner isn't needed...then again a pantyliner wouldn't work because of the steady but slow stream of blood.

I thought about calling my dr and asking to remove it. I'm not happy with it. But the only thing that stops me is the fear of the pain of the removal. Especially if it is anything like the insertion.

I don't like the idea of periods that last longer than 5 days with increasing blood flow each day. I don't want to be hasty...but I since I didn't get Mirena strictly to prevent pregnancy I'm thinking maybe I should get off it. In terms of preventing pregnancy I loved the idea of not taking a pill each day. I loved the idea of the hormone level with IUD's to be less than the pill. The last pill I was on (can't remember the name) was horrible, mood swings, weight gain, acne, headaches.

I have a pimple now but I'm not ready to blame it on Mirena. I sometimes get a monthly pimple.

Another thing to note...I did have sex, which the dr said was perfectly fine. It was a day, day and a half before the start of my period. Sex has always had moments of pain for me. My dr says it is because of my curved cervix.

HOLY...MOTHER...OF...HELL

I have never never never felt pain that intense during sex. It felt like (again) nails digging into my uterine walls.

I was curled up in the fetal position for an hour before I was able to move my body. My partner thought he did something to hurt me. Google provided some relief when I read other women talk about the same thing happening to them.

Sidenote- all of the not-so-great-remarks about Mirena list the same reasons as I have.

I will give the IUD 3 more months. That is more than enough time to see if my body needs time or if my body is rejecting the IUD.

Of course I will keep notes if only to let other women know that they too might be one of the 15% that don't love Mirena.

disclaimer: I made up that %. I'm too lazy to do the real research...I do believe the % of women who don't love it like my sister is small.

Have you had Mirena? What have your experiences been? Are you pro IUD or pro pill?

Let me know

Until next time,

Xo

Furbabies

Lately I have been thinking about getting another cat.
I've had two in the past, Serena ( black, grey, white shorted haired) and Angel ( Persian).




I adored these cats like they were my own children.
Serena was 11 years old when she passed away. Two years later I lost Angel when he was 10. I had both of them since they were kittens.
I got Serena with my first apartment. Angel right before I moved to my second one.

They followed me to each apartment I have had since the first...There have been 6 apartments.

On January 16 of this year I had to put Angel down due to kidney failure. When I came home to the silence that I knew I was now going to live with I kind of welcomed it.

Like a parent I sometimes wanted a break from pet ownership...

I wanted a break from...

The early morning feedings...

Vet and grooming visits...

Smelly cat litter...

Tumbleweeds of cat hair (no more long haired cats, lol)

The expensive of feeding another.

I enjoy not having the responsibility.

But I miss

The early morning anytime snuggle sessions.

Watching them get excited over seeing a bird, a squirrel, a balled up piece of aluminum foil.

Coming home after a bad, stressful day and receiving furry, purring kisses.

How well the mice stayed away so the cats could play.

*And yes the mice do play when the cats are away :-(*

I'm still in the "thinking" stages. I know some of the things I want to do differently this time is be as prepared as I can be.

I want to get pet insurance.

I want a decent supply of cat toys, maybe a cat condo. I'm living in a small studio and would like to be in a bigger place...but I was in a small studio when I had two cats. I want a young, young adult cat instead of an adorable-oh-so-cute-kitten.

The idea of introducing a new furbaby into my life again fills me with excitement and dread...#real talk.

I have lots of thinking to do.

Until next time,

xo

Short 2 long...and back

I've colored, relaxed, shaved, and braided my hair...I wanted to experience a weave and get a true feel of whether or not I can handle long hair, or want to for that matter. I thought it about for a good 4 months before I took the plunge and made the appointment.

On May 10th I went to get my first weave with Fashion @ NYC Weave Studio. I did enough research that I knew what to expect in terms of caring for the hair, and washing and moisturizing. I spent months drooling over pictures on Instagram. I purchased the hair from NYC Weave Studio...

Two bundles of deep wavy hair, 16" and 18" and a closure with a side part.

Totally SEXY.

Totally HOT.

Yet right off the bat I wasn't thrilled with the closure and the color of the hair on the closure. The lace cap wasn't bleached so the hair knots were visible, making it look like there were black dots. No fault of the Fashion. The color of the was a mix of off black with reddish brown on top, right at the crown.

The closure wasn't made custom- my fault.

Annnnnd that unnerved me.

I can be a perfectionist about the most absurd things.

I could have done things to make it look more realistic but I wasn't comfortable doing that.

The 16" and 18" length

was nice but screamed fake IMHO. Of course any hair past my ear is going to feel fake to me. I wasn't really thinking about that, lol.

I felt that shorter the hair would have more body, give it the illusion of semi real hair.

So my sister suggested I go to her stylist and have it cut and layered.

The cut it's self I LOVED. I felt more comfortable...but fuck damn the closure piece annoyed me. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror I focused on the closure piece.

I felt that's what people were staring at when they looked at me.

Totally paranoid...I know...but it's my head my mind and I wasn't getting around it.

Besides the closure piece I could not get the hair to hold a freaking curl. I didn't like the hair when it lost it's curl and had little body.

Now in all fairness the past 3 weeks in NYC/NJ has been filled with crappy rainy, windy weather.

I didn't want to admit that I was unhappy. But at the amount I paid I should freaking LOVE IT. No one would understand that while I liked the hair...I wasn't completely in love.

Comfort is a BIG deal with me and without having a therapy session within a blog post I simply wasn't comfortable with it.

Taking the weave out was impulsive to the point that I didn't know I was going to wash my hair, spend an hour drying my cornrows and then look in the mirror and want the damn thing out.

Good grief I did NOT expect that to happen. Yet once I got started the level of comfort I had been missing quickly returned.

Oh how I missed seeing my scalp and my curls, lol.

I don't regret getting the weave...not at all. I wasn't going to know whether I loved it or hated it until I did it. I *might* get another one ONE day, but I would definitely get kinky textured hair since I plan on keeping my hair natural. Other than the closure I liked the hair...but I didn't love it. It was too silky for my taste...Growing up all I wanted was smooth, silky my hair and FINALLY I had some silky hair and I hated it.

I did love and kinda of miss the styling options.

As my hair grows I am still obsessed with finding that "perfect" protective style. I'm aiming for at chin length as my first ultimate hair growth goal.

Another year of on and off protective styles and I will get there (fingers crossed).

Right now I have my hair pulled back in a tight teeny weeny ponytail (first ponytail in 15 years) and some kanekalon wrapped around as a bun. Depending on the weather I might keep this for the week...or not...After having a shaved head for 14 years I think I am allowed to switch things up whenever I want...

*Shoutout to Fashion, at NYC Weave Studio...regardless of my final thoughts this woman did a great job (out in two hours) and I highly recommend her if you are looking to get a weave and live in the NYC/NJ area*

Wanna know what I do next?

Stay tuned to find out ;-)

Until Next Time,

xo

 

Lust

 

LUST: a passionate or overmastering desire or craving

As I think about HIM I'm trying to recall when my innocent, school girl crush turned into the all consuming lust that I feel today.

What was the situation? What were the words spoken that flipped the switch and brightened this emotion to my mind?

When I look at HIM I still have remnants of the days of crushing.

My inability to stand still in HIS presence.

The way I would fumble my words in rapid succession like my beating pulse.

How I trained my ear to listen to his ninja silent footsteps.

HIM...with his subtle glances and nonchalant demeanor put an extra edge on that ledge of my emotions.

There is a lust for him that I can't nor want to contain.

 

Diluted- Shana Elmsford

I am a child of the 80's. As such I grew up watching some pretty cool cartoons...Josie and the Pussycats, Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, Smurfs. One of my all time favorites was Jem and the Holograms. I LOVED me some Jem with her hair and bright colors, and cool group of friends, her bandmates...Jem was a rockstar, an alter-ego of Jerrica Benton.

I even owned a



(I was never able to find all of them...especially Shana)

When I heard talks of a live version being made I was all smiles.

On Friday, the 25th the cast was announced. I quickly posted the link to an article on my FB feed and went about my day. It was a busy day. On Saturday I woke up to further investigate...i.e. I click on my own link and I read the article.

I couldn't wait to see who was chosen.



Everything is...looking...ok...wait!!!!

HOLD UP!!!

Why is the actress cast as Shana (the dark skin, purple afro wearing Hologram on the far right) about four shades  lighter than my cartoon version?

I know there are talented brown skin (cocoa, chocolate, hazelnut) actress that can sing.

Why wasn't one of them chosen? If not for talent for keeping honest to the damn cartoon.

Growing up Shana was one of the few ( I think of 3) characters that looked like me :-)

I have nothing against Aurora Perrineau. I can't I know nothing about her. Apparently she had a role on Pretty Little Liars ( I love and watch) but I don't remember her.

Her father is Harold Perrineau. Now him I know...him I love...He played Augustus Hill in Oz and Damon Pope in Sons of Anarchy.

Good acting runs in the family but my beef isn't about acting.

I'm pissed and so are some other people that here was a perfect opportunity to show true diversity while staying true to the original character.

My first thought when I saw her was "Is she mixed?" then I said "REALLY? You gonna do Shana like that!!!"

Integrity Toys got the memo that Shana is of the darker complexion.



The director, Jon M. Chu held an open casting call (social media at it's best)

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yzVnNVrunAE]

Not one of entries had a hopeful wonder that looked like Shana?

The director was wants to "reinvent" Jem for a current audience?

Current audience devoid of color? When the past audience did just fine with it?

I don't buy that Aurora Perineau was the BEST choice.

I do buy that Aurora Perineau is the Hollywood standard of the easiest and safest way to say "we have a diverse cast".

While she may be half white (her mother) and half black most of the world sees her as Black.

That's all we need.

But it isn't because that isn't all there is.

Our First Daughters of the White House



are beautiful shades of brown.

Lupita Nyong'o



named People magazines Most Beautiful Person of 2014 (days before the cast was revealed) is gorgeous shade of chocolate.

Hollywood needs to let go of it's "safety net" and take the rose tinted glasses off.

What I see in that cast line up is NOT diversity. I see a group of young, beautiful women who kinda look the same, save for eye and hair colors...

I don't even think their hair textures are different!

Brown and dark skin women deserve to be represented in films and TV shows because we exist. Not enough is being done to show that.

We don't deserve a diluted version of us.

This casting choice is a diluted version.

People are going to say "It isn't that serious. It's just a movie...The girl is BLACK."

To quote a friend that posted a comment on my FB page regarding the link to the cast article, she said "Where is the Black girl?"

Sometimes what is seen on the surface is what matters.

~Until Next Time~

xo

 

 

My side chick...

My side chick can be a bitch sometimes.

She can be unruly, tight, hard to work with...a hot mess if she isn't given attention.

She can also be soft, playful, rewarding...a trooper...My side chick will have my back no matter what I put her through.

That surprises me. Especially since before the middle of 2013 we hadn't been spending much time together...for a looooooog time.

The one day I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror and said...

I miss her

Technically I am premature in talking about this...it hasn't been a full year yet...but it will be in June...

It has been a year that I have been with my side chick.

YIKES!!!!!

 

In May my side chick is going away for a bit.  But she will still be around. She's kinda going be replaced by my fling chick.

You know, the kind you see a few times a year. You got mad love for her...but by 1, 2, maybe 3 months you're done and want something new.

You miss that side chick cause you know one day she will replace the former main chick.

You gonna wake up one day and BAM...she will literally be all over the place...taking up space in your bed, in your bathroom, demanding WAY more time than she did when she was a side chick.

For a hot minute you might even think about going back to NO chicks...It's crossed my mind.

But I made a commitment to my side chick when I left my main chick.

I was going to do right by her, treat her right...and she was going to do me right.

She...MY HAIR...wasn't going to allow me any regret on this hair growth journey that I am on.

We are on the slow and steady road with much progress.

*Below are pics of me with my



"main chick"- my shaved head. Been with her for 13 years. Saying goodbye wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

"side chick"- my hair slowly growing out. I like this one...I better because I know she is going to be around for a long time (my goal is chin length)

"fling chick"- the braids (protective styles) that I had for a month or two. She holds my attention for a while but I always miss my side chick.

This last pic is from last week

 



This is how my hair will remain till I get my new fling chick.

In order to maintain healthy hair not just growing hair I think of the process as a relationship.

I have to give my hair attention and patience. Listen to its needs while being mindful of my own.  Styling is time consuming and the results are worth it.

Think I'm crazy?

Embarking on your own hair care journey and let me know how you feel about "the other chick" spouting from your head.

~Until next time~

xo

Outlets

My 9-5 job is pretty draining...mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Even on days when I don't react to the office BS I find myself needing to vent...needing a outlet to release the stress giving half a shit can create.

Yeah I could stop caring. I've taken great pains to work on that...slowly...

Anywho...I was thinking yesterday that I don't have a viable outlet. Everyone needs a viable, tangible outlet that will help them relieve stress. Something that I can look forward to and plan.

Some people go to the gym after a stressful day.

I told my co worker I wanted to go to a gun range...totally viable way to blow off steam.

Going on vacation (after not having been on one in hmmmm 8 years) is another way.

Escaping in the great city of my birth NYC and exploring the museums and checking out galleries is another way that I can disconnect and be transported away from whatever reminders of my 9-5 follow me after 5p.

So take a class on their favorite hobbies.

In the past I thought of my writing as my hobby. Not only have I not made time to write...the whole drained when I get home thing is a big blow to my passion...I can't consider my would be career a hobby. There isn't much focus in that, at least for me.

What are some of your outlets? Ways that you vent when life is mean mugging you?

PSA, I don't hate my job...I heavily dislike my job...because it is my job NOT my career. I am aware that some of my need for a outlet comes from having a job vs. a fulfilling career...

I'm working on that...slowly...

~Until next time~

xo

Travel the rhythm

I'm quite envious of those that have gifted tongues and can speak more than one language. And I don't just mean speak as in get by...I mean speak, read, write...fully comprehending a language that is not your native tongue. I know if I really wanted to I can learn another language despite what my memories are of  10th grade Spanish.

My desires to learn aren't about function as much as form. Although when it comes to travel being multi-lingual would heighten the experience, true.

Compared to English every other language sounds beautiful, interesting, passionate, fun...lyrical...musical.

My first touch of music in another language isn't truly another language more a dialect. My dad is from Trinidad and my mother's family is Guyanese and Portuguese. I grow up listening to my fair share of soca, calypso music.

Sample of soca

Sample of calypso

At an young age I couldn't (still can't understand sometimes) much of what is said because of the heavy accents. But the sounds...AHHH the rhythms that infect you, get you on your feet. The basis for my love of music...period.

My first stop of this musical world tour is the Middle East. I became interested in Arabic music when I saw a makeup tutorial on a famous Arabic singer, Nancy Ajram



I think she is f'ing beautiful.  Interest piqued I did a Goggle search...I was mesmerized by her voice. One of my favorites is

Ya Salam

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Az1zgq1rF28]

There is something so beautiful about the Arabic language that I find sensual.

Alabina is a French based group that performs a mix of world music- ranging from Middle Eastern, Arabic, Hebrew, French and Spanish Gypsy.  If you like many different types of music I think you will like them.

My favorite song by is Yalla Bina Yalla.

http://youtu.be/mDhmKrW4F6Y

I found the group because the song was feature in the movie I Can't Think Straight

When I first listened I was jamming because of the Arabic sounds, then came the Spanish Gypsy influence and was HOOKED.

I have the anime Vampire Knight to thank for introducing me to the world of Japanense artists.

Kanon Wakeshima sang the ending credit song, Still Doll.

But it is her song, Suna no Oshiro, that I find utterly beautiful and haunting.

http://youtu.be/aFLM1NEkxf8

Kanon is a cellist and her cello is always a main component in her songs.

My next musical port is France. I found Coeur de Pirate's, La Petite Mort, in episode 10, season 1 of Orphan Black (HIGHLY recommend the show)

http://youtu.be/qDturpwxal0

From Coeur de Pirate I found Amel Bent and her song, Ma Philosophie

http://youtu.be/D38EUIll1pM

From Amel Bent I came across Amine's, Origines

[spotify id="spotify:track:19IFXhqrf6xOmSKVbvd4cv" width="300" height="380" /]

Shout out to Spotify and Pandora for helping me travel the world via music.

Until Next Time,

xo