2013...in review

My favorite pastime this year hands down was browsing Pinterest. The site is like a black hole, Bermuda Triangle. My form of heaven during a boring slow work day.  So what better way to do a recap of the year than using what I found so damn interesting throughout it...



In the beginning of the year I began doing more Accounting work at my job. Something I would haven't given a thought...ever...but turns out I kind of like it and plan to take a basic bookkeeping class in the Spring ...Perhaps this is my true calling...NOT ;-)





My work crush...one day he will have his own post, titled "I said YES"...it works on so many levels.



Spring found me reconnecting with an old childhood friend. Despite being apart for uh since 6th grade we act like no time has passed at all.



Most if not many conversations were about...



and 

While I wanted to be all 



S was like...



So as Summer started my thought process was...



and thanks to finding a really cool bar and making some cool friends I had thoughts of

  and 


During this time I decided that I would embark on a "hair growth journey". 

Me then



Me now...



Good times were approaching because Fall brought New York ComicCon. My first time ever!!! My 



and I had a blast.

Then came the best month of the whole year, November. I was all



because on the 18th it was.

But I was also a little melancholy because I kept asking S  

Me during the cooler/colder months 



2013 had me saying goodbye to people I never thought I would let go of

  

I cried and then I said

 

The year wasn't always filled with roses. I had my share of thorns. We won't think about those because



Check out my Pinterest boards here when you want to lose a few hours.



Until next time, xo

What about your friends...

Monday was my birthday and throughout the day I kept being mindful of things that would have bothered me a year or two years ago that don't today.

Working on my birthday.

Being single.

50/50 contentment at my job.

I shrug them off and keep it moving.

Yet one thing that stung and lingered is the ending of two friendships. Two friends that I thought would be in my camp for LIFE. They have seen me through happiness-is-life-at-this-moment and some really fucked up, rough, I'm your shoulder/rock when you need it times. But time and experiences change people. They changed me.

I could have continued with the friendships. Stood by while one said hurtful things and the other said nothing at all.

A friendship in memory only.

I could have waited for time and experience to work their magic and brings back what I was missing. Eventually it would have happened, it did in the past.

These two friends weren't part of a threesome. I was friends with each separately. So to lose both at the same time should have reeked havoc on my emotions...it didn't, not in the way I thought it would.

I had time to plan.  I played a loop of ending things in the back of my mind every time something good or bad happened. While the friendships weren't near deaths door, hanging on by a thread they weren't tightly bound either.

As each day went by I thought "This isn't too bad. I want to call her but..."

I didn't want to fight it, or whine about it.  I didn't want to have text go unanswered. Or hear the "beep" of leave a message.

Effort is a two way street.

I took a page from their playbook and I dropped it.

I deleted and blocked both on FB. Not because I am angry or hate them. I didn't want reminders of what I let go of in the process of growing up.

I still love them and wish them all the best in life.

But...

These two women were the first to tell me over and over...never beg anyone to stay when all signs show they want to go.

On my birthday one showed signs she wants to reconnect, complete with text and email. The reasons behind my choice to break contact don't give me much room for self respect in my eyes. No reunions here.

Even if we are due for one...since the last time she spoke to me was November 18, 2012

Less is more

Another hair post...I was asked to do this one and even if I wasn't it is still a post I want to do.

It wasn't my intention to go natural. I fell into it by deciding to
grow my hair out. For the better part of 13 years I used Dax hair
grease on my shaved head.



As long as my scalp wasn't dry I was good.
But as my hair grew my needs grew. One month into it I was on the hunt.
I knew nothing about hair so I went to Google and YouTube to find info.
Once I decided to let my hair grow I put in a relaxer thinking that would make my hair easier to maintain...but with an inch or so of growth maintenance wasn't pretty. This is when I "decided" to go natural.

My current routine is very simple. I use three to four products every time on my 4c hair.

I wash my hair daily, or at least 5 times out of the 7 days of the week. If I don't wash I spray with with water or drown it in water while in the shower.

I have used moisturizing conditioners to co-wash but none left me feeling wowed. I have found cleansing conditioner work better with my hair.

My first staple was L'Oreal EverCreme Cleansing Conditioner



I LOVE this stuff. It leaves my hair buttery soft. Can't talk on manageability because...when I was using it I didn't have much.

Note past tense because I can't find it :( Every single drugstore I go to I come up short.  I refuse to order online. My product junkie tendencies dictate that I have easy access to my addictions.

My 2nd favorite is another L'Oreal cleansing conditioner. This one



is designed for curls whereas the EverCreme is all about the moisture.  I like how the EverCurl leaves my hair clean but not dry.

Both conditioners I would call thick, the EverCreme has more slip. Both have the same light powdery perfume scent. I can't tell if the scent last because

(a) I'm putting other scented products in my hair after.

(b) I can't smell my hair....

Sadly the EverCurl has not been seen on shelves during my last two shopping trips :-(

Once out of the shower I pat my hair dry a few times then I apply my moisturizer. S-Curl makes my hair soft, bottom line. It does nothing to play up my curls. In fact I "think" because of the glycerine my curls are a big flop if I use this alone.



I am in the market for a new moisturizer. Always on the hunt.

Depending on what styling product I am using that day determines how much I let my hair air dry.

If I am using my Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie



I will use it on slightly wet, damp hair. Gather up product and run my fingers through my hair. This product makes my curls POP. It was the first product I bought for my curls and frankly had I not seen such amazing results I doubt I would have continued letting my hair grow.

If I am using my Eco Styler with Olive Oil



I have to have wet to soaking wet hair. Again I get POPPING curls with this. But when I first tried I didn't know that my hair needed to be soaking wet. My curls weren't popping and I almost wrote it off until I used my sister's



This gel is the bees knees but it is also expensive :-( Curl Enhancing Smoothie isn't  cheap when compared to Eco Styler, but it has better ingredients. Something I am learning to be more aware of as my hair grows.

Product is in, I let it set for a few while I go get ready for my day. As my hair dries I spritz with a mixture of water, castor oil, jojoba oil, and coconut oil.  To me the oils help soften my hair and make it less crunchy.

If I remember I put some Jamaican Black Castor oil on my edges. Relaxers and poor braiding left front edges invisible. The Jamaican Black Castor oil has helped bring them back to life.



I've read people using regular castor oil and having good results also.

To finish I might use a "finishing spray" to make my hair shine.  Some days I feel I need it, some I don't.

Once a week I wash my hair with a clarifying shampoo. My fave is



I do this once I week because I put a lot of stuff in my hair. The product builds up fast. In the last month I have been adding a deep conditioner to the mix. I haven't found one that I love. So I will have to get back to you on that.

I don't have a dryer (most deep conditioners recommend that you use while sitting under a dryer) so I use my shower cap. It is made from heavier plastic (think shower curtain) and leave on my head for 30 minutes...next time I want to leave on for an hour.

When I come home I don't comb out my curls. I put on my satin bonnet or tie with a satin scarf. Any combing that is done is usually done in the shower under water.



The collage is post two months but I look the same...just more.  Shrinkage is a major problem for me. When I get length I will play with techniques on stretching.

Below is me when I used a comb. I wanted to see if I had enough hair to get braids for the winter.



(I want major props for posting that photo, lol)

I'm hoping to have my protective style (i.e. braids) soon. I will do another post then on how I care for my hair and scalp.

If you are starting out on your own hair journey remember that less is more. You can always add more product(s) but you can't take away once you have applied.

What products do you use in your haircare routine?

Rebirth

Dying a little inside is easy...it's finding my way through the ashes that's hard.

Of course natural isn't easy

Despite what some might think I have been "natural" for 13 years...maybe with a hiccup here and there...but they don't count because when I did relax my hair when it got too annoying for me to handle I shaved that shit off.

In 2000...May 27, 2000 I had my hair relaxed in a cute Hallie Berry pixie cut. The upkeep of that cut was too much for my post-grieving mind (Mom passed away a week before) to handle. I went to my boyfriend, his clippers in hand and said:

"Shave it!"

13 years later I became bored with the look and the snide remarks of "You would look so pretty with longer hair" or "Are you gay? Your hair is so short."

1) I personally never thought I looked that great with longer hair.

2) What world is this where only women with short hair are gay?

I attempted to grow my hair out twice and couldn't deal with the work involved.

Remember I had years in between my tries of a carefree hair "do". No worries of the rain and humidity. I wasn't accustomed to "hat hair". I could wake up late, throw on an outfit and be out the door.

I have 4c hair.

Naysayers of hair typing...please go suck on a pipe because if there aren't different types of hair then no one would be a product junkie. Products would work for all and everyone's hair would look the same!

Type 4c hair is composed of curl patterns that will almost never clump without doing a specific hair style. It can range from fine/thin/super soft to wiry/coarse with lots of densely packed strands. 4c hair has been described as a more "challenging" version of 4b hair. Some say 4c looks identical to 4b except that the curls are so tightly kinked, there is seemingly no definition. 4c hair can shrink more than 75%.

You can go to NaturallyCurly to learn more about hair types. My mom had 3c hair; my sister has 4a, in my opinion.

My hair has always been a challenge- for my mom and myself. Growing up I often heard "I wanted boys because I don't know how to style hair." said mom, who herself kept her hair very very short.

I had choices of either a relaxer or braids. There wasn't going to be much variety of styles if I didn't choose one. And this was the early 90's...being "natural" wasn't something you would see a lot of.

I have spent Saturday afternoons in a hot salon, under a hot dryer for a style that would last a hot minute if I wasn't careful.

I have withstood the smell of the creamy crack.

I have sat patiently, digging my nails into my skin while the creamy crack burned my scalp because I "needed a few more minutes to get my hair straight".

I have woken up at 5am to get down to 125th Street before 7a, synthetic hair in hand looking for an African woman to braid my hair for 12-15 hours while other women sat around me in a large room, filled with chatter, doing the same thing...praying your braider wasn't fond of taking breaks.

Compared to being natural all that was EASY.  I wasn't doing anything. My biggest worry was the cost and time factor.

Now I think about the time factor, cost, and end results. I'm in control of it all.

It's a new pill to swallow.

I am 5 months into my new "growth" /natural hair. I think I have maybe 2 inches of hair. I wake up earlier than I should (Mon-Fri) so I can co-wash my hair, coat it with moisturizers(a mix of store bought products and coconut oil) then I run through my curls some curl enhancing products. I dress slowly so my hair has time to dry, perform magic -forming a tight cap of curls. I spritz my hair with a mixture of water, castor oil and jojoba oil liking the shine and softness the mixture creates.

I marvel throughout the day at my curls...never believing as a child, teen, young adult that this would be possible of my hair.

But the next day I wake up, pull off my sleeping bonnet and start the process all over again. Mentally counting down till I can do something else beside a "wash'n'go".

I'm in the TWA (tiny ween afro) stage. My hair for the sake of healthy growth will be in this stage till Spring. I pray. After that I can go around saying

"I have an afro of curls"

Then I will be able to experiment with twist and bantu knots. Maybe a flat iron once in a while.

I have tried enough products that I am going to give my wallet a rest and stick with what has been working.

In the beginning...whoa...honey chile...I  reached for every product that sounded like "as long as applied wet" I would have curls like



I have been lucky and have found a great group of products that I can interchange and still get results kinda like above. It was a slllllooooowwwww learning process.

I have learned that I am lucky that years of being "natural" HAS made my hair healthy. My hair is strong and hasn't shown signs of needing more moisture or more protein. There is a good balance that I am trying to hold on to.

Since I literally mess with my hair everyday I can't really see if there has been substantial new growth.  My sister saw me over the weekend and she said "It is growing in nicely." I have notice some slight shedding and I wouldn't even call it that when I comb out my hair or I'm in the shower. As your hair grows it is normal to shed.

Yet I can't complain about growth. I started with a shaved head...fuzz on my scalp.

2" within 5 months is pretty darn good.



Ok so I started out with a bit more than "fuzz". The pic on the right doesn't do new growth justice...as stated above at least 75% of my hair will shrink as it dries. No I am not brave enough to post a pic with my hair sans curling products...lol

My new looked has me going way back into my "roots" and I am wearing my glasses again...preferring them to my contacts.

In my mind I need something to balance the new feature of hair in the overall scope of my face.

People think I'm crazy for saying that.

People also thought I was crazy for shaving my hair off every month for 13 years.

Without that crazy act I would never have understood the meaning of "confidence".

Walking around with no hair, being bold enough to walk around with no hair.

That was easy.

Coming to terms with actually liking myself with hair and the process of doing my hair isn't easy.

Being patient as growth takes it's sweet as time isn't easy.

Not being able to say that I wear my hair short as a way to honor my mom isn't easy.

But believing she is looking down at me, smiling at my curls...that is easy.

YMMV #1

*The YMMV category is about things that I've been into/obsessed with/in love/lust with for more than two days...Basically stuff/people/places that I can't get enough and want to share.*

The Civil Wars- a musical duo of singer-songwriters Joy Williams and John Paul White. They fall under the Americana, Folk, Indie folk genres.  I saw a USA network "Characters Welcome" segment with the duo and their song "The One That Got Away".  I was instantly hooked.  With good reason...They wrote the song "If I Didn't Know Better" featured on the tv show Nashville. One of my favorite shows and songs featured on the show. The country vibe is evident the moment songs start but the sounds that follow hit me with a slight edge that have me doing more than just wanting to tap my feet.

My top pick is - Barton Hollow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODOOo-R6kg8

Next up is another musical duo- MS MR made up of vocalist Lizzy Plapinger and producer Max Hershenow. I blame Pretty Little Liars for featuring four of their songs from the album Secondhand Rapture- "Salty Sweet", "Hurricane", "This Isn't Control", and "Bones".  Again I am going with an Indie Folk genre yet there are influences of Pop. There is something about Lizzy's voice that puts me under a spell. Haunting, melodious, just like the lyrics.

My top pick is- Bones- If the song sounds familiar that's because it was used in a promotional trailer for Game of Thrones Season 3,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDpdpE00rfI

Seedless Red Grapes and Pepperoni ...I know I know, hear me out though...at certain times of the month (like millions of other women) I crave something salty and sweet. This combo does it for me without spiking my blood sugar too high.  I pick up a lb of red grapes and some Homel Pepperoni and I am set for the duration of my emotional rollercoster called PMS. The grapes give the right amount of sweet while the pepperoni...yeah you get the picture. I did discover this combo during a PMS juncture but since I eat this any time of the month it is a qualifies as an of obsession for me.

Stream TV is a godsend for those that do not have cable or the time to watch cable. I don't have cable. I have basic, yet most of the shows I love are on non basic channels. In an attempt to watch The White Queen I found this site. You click on the title show you want to watch and you have a choice of picking an upload site to watch from.

YES BE WARNED pops will happen, but it's free TV and the site is UPDATED DAILY.

So far I have watched The White Queen, Luther, Ray Donovan, Pretty Little Liars and Son's of Anarchy and some of Strike Back.

They have past seasons. That means they can have complete series...it's like Netflix but without the cost and with added annoyance of broken links and slow page loads, and possible virus...but it's free. So far my netbook is virus free cause of Norton.

And lastly we have a big one for me...I've been into/obsessing over my hair since I decided to let it grow out. I've had it cut low for 13 years for 3 reasons:

1- I don't like doing hair.

2- In memory of my mom who wore a short afro or TWA (teeny weeny afro).

3- I think I look sexier with short hair.

This summer I got bored. Didn't want to color my hair because it never last as new growth comes in. My sister said "just let it grow a little. Let the curls come in. It will soften you up."

The short hair CAN be a bit harsh...

Thanks to sis...I am now obsessed with that very fact...the CURLS COMING IN. I stopped cutting my hair in June...I didn't have a pixie cut to begin with. I had a low fade.  Of course not much hair has grown in but enough that I see the CURLS. I can see the potential in the future.

I can play with the curls, twisting around my fingers.  I have an inch...maybe 1 1/2".  I spend money buying products that will enhance my "curls". (I'll do a YMMV on products next time ;-) ) I wake up an half and hour earlier so I can make sure I get my curls just right.

Below is a pic. Easy to tell what's what.



Personally I think I look smoking hot with no/less hair. Still I added my hair to YMMV because hair is my love now.  I have a "Hair Crush" board on Pinterest.  I visit hair care forums and I RSS to hair blogs. I marvel at curls that I never knew I had or could have. I'm using the "grow time" as time to learn how to care for my hair. However come tomorrow morning I might wake up and whip out my rusty clippers, buzzing away my curls. Sometimes my mileage only goes so far.

What are somethings that you are loving or obsessing over- food, clothing, shows, music, spots in your hometown? My mileage may vary but I want to know what's making you smile.

Until next time,

xo, Novelty

Twenties half of a perfect 10...

After yesterday's post on there being no predominately black cast drama shows I felt I should showcase what is being shopped around in Hollywood and why I think it it deserves the spotlight even though I think it falls flat.

I'm always on the hunt for new content to view and draw from. I'm a writer that one day hopes to see my words come to life on the screen- big or small. It is full on inspiration to see other writers, especially African American writers making waves being seen and heard.

I came across talk about a new Lena Waithe show, that Queen Latifah's production company is trying to sell to the networks. It's called "Twenties" about an African American female in her 20's.

Twenties- Part 1

In the article written for Clutch Magazine I learned that there are 4 parts i.e. scenes taken from the pilot and edited together to give the viewers a sense of what the show is about.

Great idea. I knew of Lena Waithe from Sh*t Black Girls Say. She wrote it. I was happy and intrigued to read she was behind this.

I clicked on the videos in the article and sat back.

Twenties is NOT slated or does it want to be slated to be a WEB SERIES!!!! Lena wants this on a network. That disclaimer is in the "info box" on YouTube- with every clip.

I was a little miffed by that. An audience is an audience. To me it felt that she was saying Twenties was too good for the web...I don't know this is my opinion.

I do know that Lena partnered with Issa Rae on The Michelle Obama Diaries.  I do know that Issa Rae is currently working with Shonda Rhimes on an upcoming sitcom, and is in development with HBO for a new comedy show...I do know that Issa Rae got her start with a web series... Awkward Black Girl

But I digress...

In the first clip Hattie (the protagonist) is uploading a vlog, and then exits her apartment to find an eviction notice. The last clip reveals that Hattie is gay and is staying with a friend because of said eviction. In between you are introduced to some of her friends at a birthday party where Hattie is "sitting court" as her friends flock around her listing what she is doing wrong in her life. There is a weird scene with her friends and a tampon. Nothing else caught my attention.

I wouldn't run home to watch this. The writing fell flat.  I can't tell if it is a comedy or drama...both. The acting was unnatural hence unbelievable.

Learning that Hattie is gay didn't register with me because in real life I wouldn't care. I wanted to know more about how this 20 year old got evicted because she "liked to eat out a lot". So do I but I still know to check my account balances and make sure rent is paid and I knew that at her age.

I'm one potential viewer...so what I'm not able to identify with a lesbian vlogger, in her 20's, sleeping on her friend's sofa.

I'm sure other potential viewers can identify. Most in their Twenties ;-) no doubt.

Pushing aside my reasons on why I don't love it... I do like that it was created (mainstream entertainment needs more gays and lesbians on TV- yes I said it.) and I want to see what it can become with the proper backing.

Already it has been dubbed as the "black Girls". I hate that type of association. I wish newly developing shows could gain a foothold without being labeled after what came before them.

I see where it can be thought of as a "black" version of Girls. But since the protagonist is gay and openly so networks have been shying away from the show, IMHO

Hollywood is barely ready for black cast dramas...throw an openly gay character in the mix...Oh lawd...

Regardless African Americans NEED a show that isn't Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Or a show that doesn't place them as only the sidekick.

I know that Lena doesn't want her show to be a web series. But she is using YouTube to gain interest and asking viewers to share the clips via their social networks hoping that enough talk of the show will make it easier to pitch to the networks.

We can work the internet but not be on it....another topic for another day...

Check out the clips and comment below and let me know what you think?

Is Twenties a show you would tune in to watch?

No more drama

*This post is dedicated to my sister, for asking the question...

Name 5 dramas with an all African American cast or more than 1 African American actor?*

I just knew I was going to win this...I got this, I said to myself in my Daryl Dixon voice as I mentally ran down a list of tv shows that I love watching. Of course Scandal was first on my list. Scandal may not have an all African American cast but there are 2 major characters on the show that are AA...3 if you count the recurring character of Olivia's ex Edison.

What started the conversation/game of name that show was me mentioning the TV show The Haves and the Have Nots on OWN. I've been hearing good reviews and I told my sister. I don't have cable so I can't watch it. I'm always up to watch anything that shows people who look like me, doing things that I have done, might do, want to do in real life.

Sis isn't a fan. She said the story line is predictable. The scenes are shot with a "soap operaish" lens/film. And the only reason why it's being talked about is because it's the only drama on tv with more than one AA character...I agreed...shit, that's the reason why I wanted to watch. I'm all about supporting my African American community. But I was like "It isn't the ONLY show."

She countered with "Name 5...and not Scandal because that is obvious...Name 5 dramas with more than one Black character?"

I closed my eyes, thinking that would help me conjure up images. All I saw behind my eyes lids was Scandal. My sister mentioned the series Soul Food on Showtime. I wanted Network shows and one, or two more recent.

I kept wanting to yell out "The Game", "Girlfriends". I couldn't because the question was DRAMAS. The Game and Girlfriends were comedy with some light drama tones.

I was getting so annoyed I couldn't think of one I had to go Google.

This is what I found...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:African-American_television_drama_series

To say I was a bit pissed at this list is an understatement. Most of the shows on the list only had one, two African Americans or non White characters. Yet I had to remind myself that what isn't out there can't be reflected. I feel justified in my annoyance that miniseries shouldn't be on the list.

I want to see shows that had the audience tuning in every week, season after season. I want shows that had some momentum with writing, character development.

What rattles me is that even if there have been dramas with the majority of cast members being African American the shows didn't last long.

If they were lucky, they got a chance to produce a full season of episodes. Soul Food holds the record as the longest running drama series with a predominantly African American cast, lasting 5 seasons.

In the comedy category we are golden...A Different World, The Cosby Show, Roc, Moesha, Living Single, Good Times

Those shows gave us a steady presence on the small screen, lasting for years.

Why?

We can laugh, joke, handle tough situations, difficult issues as long as there is a punch line or a sarcastic remark along with the message?

Are our daily lives filled with so much stress and strife we don't need/want anymore drama?

Or is it something deeper...is it fear? Is the African American community in Hollywood more comfortable laughing at themselves than standing on a soapbox to make a statement demanding more.

The roles and story lines that are offered are usually a tale of rags to riches, domestic help, thug life, or segregation.

When roles have been given that don't revolve around what is typical kudos are waved as if Hollywood is doing us a favor rather than portraying us as we are.

And we lap it up.

We need to pause in the laughter and ask ourselves why there is no drama.

Novelty...

Novelty

• "(derived from Latin word novus for "new") is the quality of being new, or following from that, of being striking, original or unusual. Although it may be said to have an objective dimension (e.g. a new style of art coming into being, such as abstract art or impressionism) it generally exists in the subjective perceptions of individuals."


• "something (as a song or food item) that provides often fleeting amusement and is often based on a theme —often used attributively."

This blog will serve as an ongoing platform for whatever my mind wants to spill out into the world about this world.

Join me.