Lil' Ole Diabeetus

When I first saw this picture on FB I couldn't stop laughing. The parody of the Lil' Debbie snacks stems from this commercial with Wilford Brimley and his Southern pronunciation of DIABETES... Little Debbie kinda looks like Wilford... Maybe only people with DIABEETUS get the joke.

I'm a diabetic. I was diagnosed at 16. At the time I was categorized as a :

Type II- Diet Controlled Diabetic.

Meaning if I was careful and controlled my diet I could control the disease.

I tried for a while but I was a teenager...I didn't want to do all the things that you have to do to manage diabetes.

Now I am a Type II- Insulin Dependent Diabetic.

I am 36 years old.

At 22 I wasn't surprised when my dr. told me I would have to start taking oral medication.

This time I got serious. My mom passed away months before due to complications of her diabetes. I didn't want that to happen to me.

I went to the my dr appointments. I checked and recorded my blood sugar levels.  I tried to watch what I ate.  Added walking to my daily routine. I lost the 50 pounds that I had gained after my mom died. Within a year I was doing really well.

Years passed...5 to be exact and I can say proudly that I was at the best state of managing the disease that I have ever been in.

Then I quit my job. It was unplanned so when I couldn't afford my COBRA payments I lost my health insurance.

Roughly the two years after that point is when damage was done to my body.

With no health insurance I wasn't taking my medication. Once I got back on my feet and had health insurance I went straight to the dr.

Oral meds weren't cutting it anymore. My pancreas was slowly burning itself out trying to make insulin for my body. As a teen my insulin needed some guidance.  As an adult my by needed insulin point blank.

I think many Type 2 diabetics will agree that the day you are told you have to go on insulin is kind of like being seen as a failure. Especially if you were trying your hardest to manage this disease.

Diabteeus is a shifty, silent disease.

Looking at the glass half full I am lucky that the damage done is the fact that my pancreas is slowly reaching "E" rather than having my kidney fail (like my mom), or trouble with my eyes, or poor circulation resulting in losing a limb.

Watching what I eat was never fun.  Yet I do it. Having to breakdown everything I eat  so

 



 

I can take the correct dose of insulin is hard.

Whipping out this



gets sooooo tedious.

Visiting my Endo either every 3 or 6 months to check my A1C levels. Going to the ophthalmologist to have my eyes dilated to check for nerve damage is annoying.

Being reminded that I lost my mom (far too soon) to this disease happens often.

All of the steps that I do, taking my oral meds, taking my short acting and long acting insulin, carrying hard candy in my purse for when my sugar is too low, reading  food labels and listening to my body, exercising when I wan can keeps me in control.

As long as I remain in control Lil' Ole Diabteeus will have a hard time taking control over me.

Until next time,

xo

 

Maybe a twin...

I'm sitting at my desk. Work is kind of slow. I'm taking advantage of the downtime. I'm watching YouTube video, catching up on reading blogs, texting friends...As I'm reading this blog post on The Everything Girl, staring at the pretty pictures of Lauren's apartment it hit me.

Maybe a twin.

Maybe I should get a twin...a twin bed that is.

I live in a tiny studio. I have no clue what the square footage is but I know it's tiny. As much as I want to move it really isn't feasible right now. But I am tired (so tired) of coming home to my bland apartment. I've lived there for 5 years refusing to decorate or add any type of personal touch because I told myself I wasn't staying long.

I've been there long enough. I need to make an attempt.

Right now my apartment is a bed...and a Rubbermaid drawer, and some end tables...Not fancy, but functional. Being that the studio is small I always had the mindset of not wanting to stuff it with furniture. But if I get size appropriate furniture, I can make it cute...

This is where the twin bed comes in. I have a full size bed now. If I get a twin I'll have room for a chair/loveseat. If someone came over the only place to sit is on my bed. Watching TV in bed is nice when I want to lay down. Who wants to lay down all the time?

At the moment I am single...I'm not dating. For however long I stay in my current apartment I may starting seeing someone.

Nights on a twin bed aren't hot...or comfortable.  And I don't care, lol. I want a new bed. I want room for a chair.

I could get a daybed. Although in my opinion they aren't that comfortable to sleep in.

The layout of my apartment is like this



In my mind if I put all that furniture in my place I would feel cramped. I hate feeling cramped.

A simple bed, chair, maybe a movable kitchen island and that's it.

Because...I'm not going to be staying here for long ;-)

Until next time

Protective Style #6...Crochet MICROBRAIDS

After my first attempt at crochet braids I knew I wanted them again but I wasn't excited about using the most popular brand Freetress because it is all curly styles. I didn't want curly hair. What I wanted was an easy-no-fuss-protective style. In the past that meant getting braids.

I love microbraids but I don't love the 12+ hours it can take. Nor do I love how microbraids can be damaging to hair if not careful.

That's where this beauty comes in



Pre-braided Microbraids. I found the packs at my local BSS for $2 a pack. I picked up 6 in color 1B.

I went to Harlem to have my hair cornrowed.



The ends of the braids are sewed up (couldn't get a good picture of the back)

Simple braid pattern of going all back. My hair is fine so the braider used kanekalon hair to make the braids firm. Braiding across in the back would have been ideal so they could lie flat, but I think I can fix that with adding a row at the very bottom of kanekalon hair.

To help prevent the braids from unraveling too soon I put a tiny drop of Krazy Glue on the ends.



(waiting for the glue to dry, takes a few seconds to a minute)



This install took me about 4 hours because I kept taking breaks.



 

The braids are about 22" in length so they hit the top of my butt. Cutting them really wasn't an option because of the extra work to prevent unraveling, also I didn't want them short. Straight and short...ehhh.

The braids aren't as heavy as if I really had my hair braided.

Removal is super duper easy and because I glued the ends I can reuse (woohoo)

I feel like I should be on a beach, with a drink in my hand and a bikini on my body with braids this long. They should be blowing in a tropical breeze.

Until next time,

xo

 

Thrifty Tuesday

In an effort to do more blogging I'm trying to come up with themes that I know I can build post from.

Thrifty Tuesday are going to be post on items (makeup, skincare, clothing, food, gadgets and maybe even some toys) I that love that won't deflate your wallet.

Today we are talking about makeup (one of my first loves), specifically powder foundation.

I had been on the hunt for a new powder foundation once I realized I wasn't in love with my Sephora Collection MircoSmooth Baked Foundation Face Powder in the color #56Maghogany. First few times wearing the powder was fine but somehow it developed a hard film on top that for the life of me I could not scrap off.; making application a chore.

At $22 I don't feel I should have multiple steps that include a small knife to get product on my face. I told myself just go back to your one true love MAC StudioFix.  For maybe a decade all I wore was StudioFix. Liquid or cream foundations held no interest because StudioFix did it all.

Buuuuuut, I'm a product junkie. I will try the newest thing for no other reason than...it's a novelty item...

I didn't want to shell out $27 for my beloved StudioFix. I love it, and it would last forever...eh...money is tight for me and I had just wasted $22 at Sephora I'm saving to move, I want to go on vacation...I keep doing new protective styles ;-) I looked for a cheaper alternative.

NYX Stay Matte But Not Flat Powder Foundation in the color Tawny (SMP12) has the right price at $9.50. The powder is soft, provides great coverage yet at times will feel heavy. I have dry skin and I seem to get a nice glow once the powder settles.  Downside is I have already hit pan and it has only been maybe a month and a half. I purchase this at a local beauty supply store.

Another powder that love and often forget about is Ruby Kisses No More Blemish Powder in Toasted Almond. I don't use it for blemishes. I picked it up on a whim years ago. Since then whenever I go to the BSS I think fondly of how it worked well (no heavy transferring on clothing or paperwork- sometimes MAC and NYX do) At $4.99 I really have no complaints. Picking a color might be hard. In the case they can look the same. My BSS had testers but they looked the same there too. I picked based on what I saw through the little window in the compact.

Out of the two I'm happier with my $5 powder. I would go as far as to say to is up there with my StudioFix in terms of HOLY GRAIL status.

*Sorry for the lack of photos. I did this post of on the fly and didn't have a chance to gather any.*

Do you have any thrifty products that you love?

Until next time,

xo

Protective Style # 5- Crochet Braids

As my quest process of growing my hair out continues I decided to put in crochet braids for my 5th protective style.
If you go off of YouTube it looks simple enough.
For the most part it is...
Crochet braids are when your own hair is cornrowed and the extension is looped through the base with a crochet hook and then tied into a knot.
Simple, right?
While protective styles are great for keeping my hair...well...protected from the weather and daily manipulation they can be expensive. Braiders can charge up to $200 to install crochet braids. You can use synthetic or human hair.
Because synthetic is cheaper, last longer, and requires less maintenance I went with that.
I chose Freetress Brazilian Braid.

I wanted a curly/wavy pattern the likes of which my real hair is dreaming of being when it reaches my goal length ( chin length).
I wasn't ready to pay someone what YT swears can be done by yourself...but I don't know how to cornrow.
I went to my local beauty school and had cornrows put in for $40 bucks.
I bought 5 packs of hair for $6 each.
$80 for my style is a hell of a lot better than $200.
My hair is thick at the roots and then become fine :-(
Cornrows done on my hair don't fair well unless it is braided with extension hair.
Unfortunately the beauty school doesn't allow their students to braid with extensions.
That makes NO sense to me.
Anyway I was lucky to get a student that is not only a fantastic braider she also understands natural hair. She knew that in order to catch my hair and not cause breakage it would be best to braid while damp.
I had her braid going all the way straight back. I had to sew the ends together.
It was a BITCH trying to find good pictures of braid patterns online. I came across lots of "end results" but I needed a more detailed pic of a braid pattern.
It's like that's the golden secret to crochet braids and them looking good...it's all about the braid pattern.

So I got home Thursday night around 8p. I had taken Friday off. I was going to go in and go hard.
Chile...I consider my head to be small but fuck yeah I wasn't done till 2a. And that was ONLY because I ran out of hair.
I bought 3 packs of #2 ( a dark brown) and 2 of #27 ( a light honey).
I was going to mix the two and get me some highlights. But as I was putting in the brown I was happy with it...till I ran out and couldn't finish.
Smart thinking on taking Friday off. Because besides needing to finish the top part of my head the style was HUGE.
A common thing when installing, your end result WILL leave you looking like Mufasa.
Friday morning I went to the beauty supply store got one more #2 and some thinning shears.
I had to cut out some of the braids because thinning them with the shears kind of made the hair bigger, lol.
I'm saying this right now... I don't know shit about doing hair, lol.
No matter how many YT videos I watch.
I definitely need more practice.
Even with taking out almost half of what I put in it was still too puffy and Diana Ross ish for my taste.
I saw a YT video where a woman dipped her Brazilian crochet braids in hot water to calm down the mane.
I fucking hate YT for making people think they can do shit.
I did it and end up losing some of my curl pattern :-(
But not enough that I couldn't cut away. What I couldn't cut away blends in ok...I guess. I personally think the ends look horrible but we all know how critical I am of myself.
When installing I split some of the curls in two, causing frizz. But if I didn't do that I would end up with pieces that weren't staying knotted.
Most of the pieces look like they will come undone :-/. All I do is pull on them and they knot right back.
I think because my hair is so fine and still short the knots have nothing to hold on to. As I was pushing the the crochet hook through the braids would loosen.
All and all I'm happy with the outcome
and proud of myself for doing it.
I don't know how long I will keep this set in.
I do know I want them again and I will probably shell out the cash to have a professional do it.
*sigh*
This growing my hair out business is for the birds, lol
Have you ever had crochet braids? What were your experiences?
Unto next time
Xo

TMI: Mirena

*TMI... this is a graphic post about my experience on the IUD Mirena. If you don't want to read about cramps, blood, and the menstrual cycle you know what to do. If you are curious about one woman's experience on the birth control, Mirena keep reading.*

 

_______________________________________________________________

 

I debated about whether or not I wanted to write this post.  It is personal and private but maybe it will provide me with some insight or give someone else comfort.

This is literally my first month on the IUD, Mirena. How could I have enough time to offer an accurate account...but from day one I was miserable and I should share that.

The issue I have with my periods isn't an insane amount of blood flow. I have an insane amount of pain because of cramps and back pain. Even the back of my knees hurt when I have my period. I'm also one of those lucky women that get vertigo a few days to a week before my period. Birth control in general is supposed to help lessen some menstrual side effects.

Yes, cramps, heavy blood flow, and back pain are side effects of a menstrual cycle to me...Do I need all of that to let me know I have unused eggs?

Nope, I don't.

My sister is on Mirena and has had nothing but GLOWING, and I mean GLOWING reviews about this tiny little  T looking thing. I told her before I joined the Mirena club that she should be the spokesperson.

From her account the insertion of Mirena could have been difficult.

It was HELL. I don't know if it is the fact that I have a curved cervix (way TMI) or because I have never had children (so my cervix wasn't stretched) but I felt there were nails being imbedded into my uterus.  My doctor said things would get intense and I was all "whatever".

I was clutching the table, lifting my ass off, holding my breath, trying lie still just so it could be done and over with. It was maybe 5 minutes of sheer horror.

On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was a 12.

I was sent on my way and told that I would have some mild cramping.

When I got back to work (surely I didn't need to take a half day. It was a 1, 2, 3 type thing...pffft) a friend/co worker asked what was wrong with me. I looked exhausted.  I felt exhausted. I was in my dr.'s office for maybe 15 minutes...and I came out looking like I hadn't slept for days. I shuffled my feet towards the table in the break room and flopped down, doubling over...The cramps felt like they were intensifying.

The cramping lasted a good week.

I expected some cramping. I didn't except this dull, twisting pain to assault my body in the afternoons like clockwork.

I quickly got online as day two was progressing. I read that other women had experienced the same thing. By day 4 I posted a question on Facebook. I just knew this device with becoming embedded in my uterine walls.  Nope...everyone said what I was experiencing was normal.

My sister thought (still does) I was (am) crazy. Her experience with Mirena has been like my experience on the pill WONDERFUL.

Week 2 after insertion I am having some spotting. Thanks to my trusty period app I know my period is due in the next week or so...

Once I got that familiar feeling of I hate everyone, crying because I see a lone flower on a bush, and that need to eat everything,  I knew my period was coming.

Please keep in mind cramps are my issue not heavy-I-have-to-wear-a-pad-and-tampon bleeding.

My period started on May 26th. The blood flow was so light (lighter than the spotting after insertion) that I doubted this was my period. My sister said "No, this is it...Just wait."

Even though this conversation was via text, the tone of it was supposed to convince me that my period would come and go within 5 days like it usually does and I will barely notice.

NO!!!!

The 26th was on a Monday and I was at work, sitting at my desk when all of a sudden my stomach got a punch  a twist from within that was on par with food poisoning. I lost my ability to breath and lift my upper body upright. The gut wrenching pain lasted maybe 2 or 3 minutes. When it stopped I looked up and let out a deep exhale. I continued doing whatever I was doing when not 5 minutes later...

POW!!!!!! I got hit with another gut wrenching, twisting grip of pain.

I thought to myself "WTF". I sent a text to my sister who said she never had anything like that and I should just relax.

One thing about me...I know my body. I know when things are off. At 16 I was the first to diagnosis myself as I diabetic because I recognized the symptoms. I know when something is working with my body or against.

Mirena appears to be working against.

From what I read what I am going through is the norm...

Gut wrenching contraction like cramps is a normal experience. Add to that my normal back and back of the knee pain and I was in a foul mood.

So I can't even attest to any mood swings because I was in pain...who the fuck is going to be happy when every 5 minutes it feels like their uterus is being ripped out?

I popped some Aleve and waited a good hour. YES an hour for the pills to kick in. The Aleve made a dent in the pain but not all was gone.

I was so pissed that other women talked about how great this IUD was but for me I felt I was better when I didn't have it.

Now let's get into the nitty-gritty of things- like the cramps isn't enough-.

The blood flow that really isn't but kind of is; heavy.

Again I am going to say heavy blood flow was never a main issue.

My periods would start off heavy and decrease as the days passed.

When I was on the pill I would have heavy to medium to light flow but ZERO cramping the entire time.

For the past 10 days I have had a light to a medium flow. I can use a tampon for literally a 24 hour period. Super absorbency...Toxic Shock Syndrome notwithstanding...I have come pretty close to proving my blood flow isn't heavy.

Buuuuuuuuuut my blood flow is LONGER. 5 day periods have ALWAYS been my max. I am on day 8 and I am still bleeding, still having some cramping, and back and back of the knee pain.

The worst part is on the rare moments when I don't have the hellish cramps I'm thinking my period is over and I go pee...I look down and the toliet is filled with red water. Not even pink, I'm talking full red like I am on my first day.For the most part my super tampons have been super a pantyliner isn't needed...then again a pantyliner wouldn't work because of the steady but slow stream of blood.

I thought about calling my dr and asking to remove it. I'm not happy with it. But the only thing that stops me is the fear of the pain of the removal. Especially if it is anything like the insertion.

I don't like the idea of periods that last longer than 5 days with increasing blood flow each day. I don't want to be hasty...but I since I didn't get Mirena strictly to prevent pregnancy I'm thinking maybe I should get off it. In terms of preventing pregnancy I loved the idea of not taking a pill each day. I loved the idea of the hormone level with IUD's to be less than the pill. The last pill I was on (can't remember the name) was horrible, mood swings, weight gain, acne, headaches.

I have a pimple now but I'm not ready to blame it on Mirena. I sometimes get a monthly pimple.

Another thing to note...I did have sex, which the dr said was perfectly fine. It was a day, day and a half before the start of my period. Sex has always had moments of pain for me. My dr says it is because of my curved cervix.

HOLY...MOTHER...OF...HELL

I have never never never felt pain that intense during sex. It felt like (again) nails digging into my uterine walls.

I was curled up in the fetal position for an hour before I was able to move my body. My partner thought he did something to hurt me. Google provided some relief when I read other women talk about the same thing happening to them.

Sidenote- all of the not-so-great-remarks about Mirena list the same reasons as I have.

I will give the IUD 3 more months. That is more than enough time to see if my body needs time or if my body is rejecting the IUD.

Of course I will keep notes if only to let other women know that they too might be one of the 15% that don't love Mirena.

disclaimer: I made up that %. I'm too lazy to do the real research...I do believe the % of women who don't love it like my sister is small.

Have you had Mirena? What have your experiences been? Are you pro IUD or pro pill?

Let me know

Until next time,

Xo

Furbabies

Lately I have been thinking about getting another cat.
I've had two in the past, Serena ( black, grey, white shorted haired) and Angel ( Persian).




I adored these cats like they were my own children.
Serena was 11 years old when she passed away. Two years later I lost Angel when he was 10. I had both of them since they were kittens.
I got Serena with my first apartment. Angel right before I moved to my second one.

They followed me to each apartment I have had since the first...There have been 6 apartments.

On January 16 of this year I had to put Angel down due to kidney failure. When I came home to the silence that I knew I was now going to live with I kind of welcomed it.

Like a parent I sometimes wanted a break from pet ownership...

I wanted a break from...

The early morning feedings...

Vet and grooming visits...

Smelly cat litter...

Tumbleweeds of cat hair (no more long haired cats, lol)

The expensive of feeding another.

I enjoy not having the responsibility.

But I miss

The early morning anytime snuggle sessions.

Watching them get excited over seeing a bird, a squirrel, a balled up piece of aluminum foil.

Coming home after a bad, stressful day and receiving furry, purring kisses.

How well the mice stayed away so the cats could play.

*And yes the mice do play when the cats are away :-(*

I'm still in the "thinking" stages. I know some of the things I want to do differently this time is be as prepared as I can be.

I want to get pet insurance.

I want a decent supply of cat toys, maybe a cat condo. I'm living in a small studio and would like to be in a bigger place...but I was in a small studio when I had two cats. I want a young, young adult cat instead of an adorable-oh-so-cute-kitten.

The idea of introducing a new furbaby into my life again fills me with excitement and dread...#real talk.

I have lots of thinking to do.

Until next time,

xo